Why I always loved her

Jane Goodall has been one of my heroes for as long as I can remember. As a child, and for years, my greatest dream was to one day live in the rainforest and study the plants and animals that lived there. I was determined to end the effects of deforestation and protect that beautiful, mysterious ecosystem. Today, I have been to rain forests in Central and South America for short visits, and they still fill me with awe and a desire to explore and learn and adventure. While I decided to take a different route and am not directly out to save the trees, that is still closely related to my chosen field. I am now a graduate student in journalism with a focus on international/international development journalism. And rain forests are essential to development and the continued health of economies and growth.

Anyway, I loved this video. Once again, Jane Goodall has earned my respect and admiration, and eloquently verbalizes exactly the way I feel about science. What good is it if we don't feel something?

small steps

I'm not much of a video game lover. In fact, rather the contrary. But I still find a great deal of joy in this:

"When Mike Mika saw the disappointment on his daughter's face when she realized Pauline wasn't a playable character in Donkey Kong, he felt a call to action. Thankfully Mika happens to be a competent developer, and after a few late-night hours spent hacking the NES version of Nintendo's classic, he accomplished the role reversal his daughter had wished for. Mario was now under Donkey Kong's control, and Pauline was tasked with rescuing the plumber in distress.

You can read the rest here.

Honestly, that is one awesome Dad! If all men cared that much about the effects of inequality (no matter how seemingly small or insignificant) on the lives of the women they love, the world would be a pretty amazing place! Seriously.

Helpless??

Years ago, in Cochabamba, Bolivia, I was standing on a street corner with my friend Jean, waiting for some people to join us. As we stood there, we noticed a girl alone on the other side of the street. And nearby, two young men. There was something odd about the situation. Or at least, it seemed odd to us as we observed the three. Suddenly, one of the boys went up to the girl and she seemed to be trying to get him to leave her alone. Then, the other one started running up. Not knowing what to do, I instinctively started moving towards them and yelling something.

But before I could see what happened, Jean grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away. She was terrified. And suddenly, so was I. Maybe it was because we had just been robbed a day or two before by four young men with a gun. Maybe it was because I had no idea what I would have done if there was some sort of trouble. Maybe it was because in reality, I wasn't sure if anything was going on and maybe I was just making a scene. But as we ran the other way down the street I was overwhelmed by a horrifying sense of helplessness.

I was useless.
Powerless.
Ridiculous.

Last night, I was left with a similar feeling.

While some friends and I were eating dinner in a restaurant, a man came by pulling a woman aggressively by the arm. She pulled her arm away and walked out in front of him. As everyone at my table exchanged confused glances, I saw them walk by the window. Again, he was violently dragging her along. I mentioned this to my friends and decided to go outside and see what was going on. They were arguing on the street. I stood there for a minute and then... went inside.

I wanted to intervene somehow. I wanted to say something. But I didn't. I went back to the table and sat down again with my friends and we all went on almost as if nothing had happened.

Something did happen though. And I regret my lack of action. I don't know if it was because I was a little frightened. Or embarrassed. Or feeling silly since no one else seemed to think it was a big deal (and I am, to my shame, really sensitive about being considered an "over reactor"). Or maybe because I just had no idea what I could or should do. Whatever the reason, I should have done more than just stand on the street for a moment staring at them and feeling unsettled and awkward. I should have acted.

This morning, still feeling upset over the incident from last night, I started to consider the problem. Mostly, I feel like I need more information (and probably courage too). I need to know what the right thing to do is. Can you just go up to someone and say, "Is everything alright?" Is that too weird and invasive? Or is that the right thing to do when you are concerned about a situation? So I did a little research. I am attaching a few articles (here and here and here) in case anyone else is interested in some advice on dealing with abusive situations in public. I feel much more confident to act now. And though I still feel guilty for doing nothing, I think if I see something like that again, I will know what to do.

Also, in honor of International Women's Day yesterday (coincidence??), while I am proud of the great strides women have made in our country an around the world, there is still so much work to be done if we want true equality and justice for all people. Just the fact alone that I was the only person in the restaurant who even got out of my chair when a woman was being dragged out by her arm (and still did absolutely nothing useful), reminds me that physical (and emotion and mental) abuse is still far too commonplace in our society. We ALL have work to do if this is ever going to change. I love this article about the need for men and women to work together to end violence and promote equality. This is a conversation that needs to be front and center in our lives. And luckily, there are some great people and organizations that are facilitating discussion and awareness and making incredible strides in our communities! This list of things you can do from ONE is a great place to start.

Because the truth is, we don't have to be helpless!

Demonstrations in liberty

These days there seems to be plenty of room to doubt the "Of the people, by the people, for the people" ideal that has historically been, at least in theory, the backbone of our nation. How much does your voice really matter? How often is the average person heard? Aren't our questionable politicians and big businesses really running the show these days? If you don't make millions, does your citizenship even count?

I know I sound like a pessimist, and there are certainly times when I feel that way. I seriously question at times how much of a difference I can make. And I don't think I'm the only one. That is one factor, I believe, in the increasingly whinny, but persistently inactive political discussions that I hear coming from all directions most of the time. And even if it isn't exactly excusable, it is certainly understandable. Many of us don't feel like there is much we can actually do to make a difference.

But in reality, I don't think it's true. We, all of us, individuals, can actually have a great impact on our nation, our communities and even the world. We just have to know where to look and do the things we really can do. Just as one important, if slightly odd, example are online petitions.

Yes, yes. I know what you're thinking. Those lame emails and Facebook promptings we all get to "sign your support" and "join the petition" to change the world. Can those possibly be more than some cheesy gimmick? Can typing your name on a list actually make a difference? And isn't that a pretty silly and even lazy way to "make a difference"?

Maybe. Yet I still think that, in some ways, these online petitions are actually a beacon of hope and an updated nod to a past of political and social activism that can appeal to many people living in today's digital world. Pledging your support on a petition can make the difference necessary to sway political decisions and show where public opinion really lies on important issues. There are many sites these days like Change.org that allow people to make online petitions and rally for support from unknown strangers who commiserate with the originator's concerns. And together, they actually do change things. From legislation to store policies to justice for the falsely accused or support for causes from around the world, many of the petitions get enough signatures to get noticed at least. And sometimes they even succeed in making an important change! Rather often.

So, is it worth it to sign an online petition? I think so. At least, I think it is if you care about the issue being petitioned and you are someone who think wants to be involved in righting wrongs and affecting change.

Now, I don't pretend that signing petitions, even if you did it all day everyday, would amount to being actively involved in making the world a better place or would suffice in doing our civic duties. There are far too many people who need our help and far too many projects that need hands and brains and hearts invested in making them work. We can and should be involved in every way we can.

Yet, there is something very beautiful about the power of people coming together, even it is just online. Because we do have a say. We do make a difference. And the things you sign your name to do say something about who you are and what you stand for. It is important to make those things known.

By the way, this all came up because of this petition to help save wolves. I signed it and you might want to too. Or not. All I'm saying is, don't discount the small things. In the end, they do all add up. Sometimes I think it is in the small things that we will find the greatest hope.

Anticipation

I keep thinking back to 4 years ago. The first time I voted. When I read everything everywhere and after careful thought and preparation, I felt excited and certain about who I should vote for. I was so thrilled to take part in this democratic election ritual.

And I remember when President Obama won. I remember I was in the computer lab in the library typing up some paper, when suddenly there was a shout from somewhere in the foyer. Someone rejoicing. And then the word spread like fire throughout the library and whispers exploded in joy or disappointment. I remember my pride: in my country, my fellow citizens, in people in general. For making what was, in my opinion, the best decision. I remember recognizing that this was a historic moment in our country's history. And it proved me wrong in some of my doubts about the goodness and pureness of people's intentions and views.

In short, I was ecstatic. Full of hope and optimism for the future.

So, things haven't gone quite as planned. I'm not as intense about my feelings in the election this year. I still support President Obama. But maybe with a little less enthusiasm.

Not because I actually think he has been a terrible President like some people. Or because I am less certain about which candidate I support. I am just as sure who I want to win. And I think that Obama has done some good, though certainly he has not been perfect.

Still, I am not so enthused. I am excited to vote. I am grateful for this privilege to express my voice about who will lead my country. I am not unaware of how blessed we are to have the right to participate in the election of our leaders and to express our hopes, fears, disappointments and discontents. It's a great thing.

Only, the difference this time is that I am less hopeful about our attitude as citizens. And the election season hatefulness has not encouraged me much.

I remember how much President Bush was raked over the coals during his Presidency. I guess I thought that was just because people were so completely unhappy with him. I didn't expect the same negativity to continue almost without missing a beat into a new presidency.

I don't pretend that there are not reasons to complain and find fault. In fact, that's my very point. There always will be. There always have been. Unfortunately, if that is where we continue to focus, I truly believe that we will never be satisfied. We will never progress. There will never be real, meaningful change in our nation.

So, I will vote. And I will hope and pray for (what I consider) a favorable outcome in the elections.

But what I want, more than anything, is peacefulness. Helpfulness. No matter what happens, I hope I can do my best to be an asset to my country. I hope my voice can spread hope and love and joy. I hope that even if I disagree with some ideas, that I will find solutions. I hope that we as a nation can gripe a little less and change a little more.

As my mom always taught me, "Be a problem solver!"

Her advice never goes out of style.

Happy voting! Be safe out there!

Oh, and also this:

LATEST UPDATE: Loss of reasoning abilities and moderation sweep country

Recently, there have been increased incidence of what are known as "hearing malfunctions" among United States citizens. From West to East and North to South, no population seems to be immune to this malfunction, and reports of it are increasing daily. Strangely enough, when this disorder occurs people across the country are listening to the same words at the same time, yet, despite written transcripts and the ability to replay the exact words, there is increasing disagreement on what is actually being said.

This is just one symptom of a frightening epidemic of what some are starting to refer to "Partisanitis." The affects are quite tragic, leaving victims seething and seizing in overblown fits of rage, indignation and childishness. And scariest of all is that the infected actually believe themselves to be in an increased state of awareness and accuracy--when faced with real facts and rational thinking "Partisanisia" seems to set in and only a very limited and selective portion of the world population, history and reality in general seems able to enter the affected minds. All other views are categorized as cruel, stupid, unrealistic, ridiculous and even evil.

The epidemic is characterized by the following symptoms:

First, the disease seems to start with a slight eye problem, wherein everything begins to look not just black and white, but actually distinct shades of red and blue. Interestingly enough, personal opinion strongly influences the side affects of the afflicted patients. Depending on ideas and feelings of the patient, either red or blue begins to produce extreme feelings of anger, resentment and distrust. It is also associated with emotional outbursts and unreasonable characterizations of people and ideas associated with the unfavorable color.

Next comes the earlier mentioned hearing malfunctions. These are directly related to the color associations. When a person or group is associated with the upsetting color, everything said is understood by the affected mind as an evil attempt to destroy lives--often the patient believes the words are a direct affront to their personal well-being and value system. On the other hand, when a person associated with the other, favorable color speaks, there is a feeling of calm, approval and support. This feeling may be produced at times through actual evidence, but is generally founded on nothing more than vague statements that cannot be tried, proven or substantiated in reality. As, in fact, are the upsetting statements.

However, the most disgraceful and tragic side affect of Partisanitis occurs when the infected persons begin, as if driven and unable to control themselves, to attempt to spread their disease to as wide an audience as possible. This takes the form of unpleasant and often embarrassing statements strewn across social media sites, sickeningly falsified data published in advertisements and across the news, internet and posted on bumper-stickers, and much more. People speak as though there were no alternative perspective and as though those associated with the negatively perceived color were actually devil possessed and seeking the demise of the entire human population. Or at least certain populations deemed important by the affected persons.

All inhabitants of the United States are encouraged to be on guard for signs of Partisanitis in themselves and those they know. It is suggested that when these disturbing behaviors are observed that they be ignored and the person displaying them pitied. While Partisanitis tells the victims of the disease otherwise, it should be stated that there is no secret plot by any person currently seeking to be elected as President of the United States to overthrow the government, wreck the lives of all humans and destroy the world. And while those suffering from the affects of this ailment will try to convince you that one color-associated person or another is actually, as one patient of partisanitis put it, "hiding your true motive to make America weak and vulnerable," these are the ramblings of sick minds.

Unaffected citizens are asked to calmly review facts, make logical and reasonable decisions, discuss issues and listen to the views of other unaffected, rational people with respect and dignity. It is not advisable, under any circumstances, to attempt a reasonable, rational or logical discussion with any person suffering from Partisanistis. There is no cure except for what can be called an "epiphany" of reason that takes place within the patient. These are rare and miraculous but do occur in some more evolved patients. In the meantime, we must be patient and hope that by the end of November our families, friends and associates will be restored to their normal selves, as is often the case (though sadly, some of the infected are irredeemable even outside of election season).

Be careful out there!

Disclaimer!!!!!!

Experts are still debating the actual diagnosis of Partisanitis.

It has not been officially recognized by the  AMA.

However, due to high and increasing incidence the author wishes to bring 

the matter to the attention of the innocent.

It should also be mentioned that the author is 

NOT IMMUNE

to her own moments of Partisanitis.

She also does find it encouraging and beautiful that many people

have become interested and involved in the election process.

She only wished they would be more civil.

And less disgusting.

Ya know?

JUNE-time!

This photo is a representation of my feelings about June, but was not, however, actually taken in June. Give me a break. It's only been two days!

It's June. I love June. There are many reasons I could give, but in all honesty I love it most of all because June is my birthday month. I have no special claim on the month, I know. There are lots of people with June birthdays. Yet, I always feel like it is my month. A month of beautiful things, hopes and wishes and fresh starts.

This June, in twenty-five days, I will turn 25.

The thing is, I am really happy to turn 25. Some people make me feel like 25 is a big deal--I should feel "old," or worried about what I have (and have not) accomplished or where I am going or when I will get married or have kids, etc. And I confess, those thoughts cross my mind from time to time. From that point of view there is a lot someone could point to as "not enough." I don't have a great job, a husband or kids, a boyfriend, a master's degree. I'm not in school and in three weeks I won't have a job any more either. I am still not sure what I want to do with my life or where I will end up. But I am content. I'm happy. I have thought things over and I feel fantastic about my life thus far. That's not to say that there aren't a lot more things I want to do and that there isn't a LOT of progress I want to make, but so what? I'm working on it.

A few things that help me feel great about this coming landmark:

1. It really is about the journey, not the destination. Cliché but true. Even though I haven't accomplished any great and wonderful things yet (and maybe I never will) and even though the things I have done have been small, they have been important to me. I have chosen my path the best I could according to my goals and values and dreams, even though I often did so without knowing where I would end up. Of course there is more I could have done and things I missed along the way. But in all, I have had more than my fair share of loveliness so far in life. And I am so very grateful.
2. Being single doesn't scare me. It used to. But the older I get and the more dating (and dating-like) experiences I have, the more I realize that I am completely okay being on my own. I want to get married and have a family. But if that doesn't come along, or if it takes a long time, I am not worried. I have plenty to do in the meantime. I am happy and I am never lacking wonderful people in my life who are there for me when I need them. So while I will be overjoyed if/when the right person comes along, I am in no rush, and I'm not worried about it. (at least right now)
3. My life is full of incredible blessings. And most of them have come in the form of truly wonderful people. My family and friends fill my life with joy and security and hope. They lift me up and they believe in me. I am not worried about disappointing them or letting them down, because they have proven to me that they are there for me no matter what. I know I can trust them.
4. Life is unexpected, unsettling and completely wonderful. Life cannot be planned. It will always surprise you. There are great moments and difficult ones, but so far the balance in my life has always tilted towards astonishingly beautiful. I know that I can trust God to lead me where I need to go and to provide not only everything I need, but also many unforeseeable and completely breathtaking moments along the way.
5. I don't want my life to be the same as anyone else's, so I have no need to compare my life to other people's.
6. I decided a few years ago that I won't feel old until I'm at least 60. So don't expect me to freak out when I turn 30 or 40 or 50 either. These days, that's young! I have no intention of wasting valuable time worrying about my age. I can't go backwards, I can only go forwards. As long as I am enjoying life and making progress I don't see why it matters how old I am anyway!

So, happy birthday month to me (and a bunch of other fabulous people too!!!). I am hoping to really love my last few weeks being 24. And anyone with advice for how to make the coming year even better, fire away!

A happy June to one and all!

ps. all that said,

I reserve the right to feel

nervous and freaked out and self conscious and like my life is out of control

at any given moment.

It happens.

But in general, I feel great!

Soundtrack only, please

Florence + the Machine. 

Yep. Not much to say. I love her voice, her sound, her spunk and her dance moves. I also like this new song.



As for the movie.... well, I'm not completely sold*. But the music? YES PLEASE!

*To be fair

I'm kind of a movie skeptic.

It's just that so many mainstream movies these days are

well, mediocre.

Or just plain crappy.

And that from someone who really 

LOVES movies

(when they're good)!

If only everything were this easy!

"If you believe that earth’s natural resources are limitless, which maybe was excusable 100 years ago but is the height of ignorance now,  or that “technology will fix it” or that we can simply go mine them in outer space with Newt Gingrich, I guess none of this worries you. But if you believe in reality, and you’d like that to be a place that your kids get to enjoy, this is a big deal."

Today I read a NYTimes article called We Could Be Heroes. Intriguing, right? Who doesn't want to be a hero? So, what's the key? Essentially, the article is about a very simple, immediate way in which we can influence the world, particularly climate change, increasing greenhouse gases, diminishing land, forests, flora (and with it the loss of and endangerment of many species), etc. Can you guess what it is? The simple, small change we can make TODAY that could make the kind of difference in the world that new technologies, research, electric cars and renewable energy sources can't begin to match (at least for the time being)?

Yep. EATING LESS (or no) MEAT.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. This is one of my pet subjects. I am always harping on about the pros of vegetarianism (which isn't actually even necessarily what the article is promoting). But it's true. Read the article.  Read what I posted here about a myriad of other reasons to make the switch (or read Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. Great book.). But whatever you do, please at least consider the way you are eating and the affects your daily consumption has on your life, the planet, our future and the future of our children. It's at least worth giving a little thought! Especially since I can promise from experience, eating less or no meat truly is EASY! It takes a little extra thought, especially at first, and maybe some adjustment. But today there are so many options available to us that avoiding meat is no biggie in terms of sacrifice. Yet it can have a huge influence when it comes to impact!

Revelations

They say that if you rinse your hair in cold water after a shower it will be shinier.

The thing is, when I tried it I realized is that I have no chance whatsoever of holding up under torture. I can't even handle standing in a cold shower for three seconds.

Why that was the thought that came to my mind, I'm not sure, but I couldn't get the image of Jennifer Garner in her TV series Alias out of my mind. Do you remember that show? I used to watch it with my mom and I remember enjoying it. Now, reflecting back (with my vague and possibly inaccurate memories of the show) I can't quite recall the appeal. In fact, in recent years I have become exceptionally averse to most forms of violence on TV or in movies. I make exceptions when I feel the film or documentary has a particularly important and thoughtful message, but I at times find myself repulsed by action films and super-hero movies. To me they seem so careless; so crude and ugly and sad. Often these films seem to trivialize the real effects of violence, conflict and war. They tend to paint good and evil in clear opposition to one another; everything is black and white. Sometimes we even want people to die, or we don't think twice when there are people left injured or killed on the sidelines. For me it's all rather sickening.

I can't recall exactly when or why my view of these depictions started changing. Probably about the time I went to college and just a small piece of the protective bubble of privilege I have always lived within lifted to show me something of what reality looks like outside of my own little world. And the more I read and see and learn the less entertaining violence becomes and the more upsetting it is, even if it is just "pretend." Because I know that often these films are nonchalantly depicting horrors that really happen. Or if not, they are showing violence in such a casual manner that it seems like a slap in the face to every man, woman and child who has truly suffered--whether it be from war or genocide, rape or domestic abuse, or any act of hatred or anger or meanness. It doesn't seem funny or entertaining or glamorous anymore. It turns my stomach and makes me morn for the society we live in that can turn a blind eye to real suffering and then, for financial gain, use stories of violence as a form of entertainment.

I know sometimes I take things too far. I can be a stick-in-the-mud and read too much into things. But I think sometimes, too, we don't read enough into things. We don't think enough about what we see and hear and read and learn. We disconnect from reality and let ourselves pretend that everything is well. And lets be honest, we all know it's not. I promise, teaching a teenagers is a great way to be reminded yourself of how gloomy things can potential be (the little downers!). Yet in truth I am really hopeful for the world and for society. Even though I am disappointed that the progress and advances in our societies have often only led to more destructive weapons and wars; to new kinds of dominance and oppression; to greater disparities between the rich and the poor.

But I don't think it has to be that way. I don't think we are destined to be hateful and selfish and violent. We have a choice and I believe that we can, and I hope that we will, change for the better. It comes down to the decisions we make and the way we choose to see the world and those we share it with. It comes down to how much we are willing to change and adapt in the name of the better good. I think in some ways we are going to be forced to change in the near future. But I hope we will also choose to change because we care about the world we live in and we see others as equally valuable as ourselves.

Anyway, that's what the kind of thing you think when you freeze your brain in the shower in the hopes of shinier hair. It's dangerous business.

A very special day...

It's International Women's Day today. And I feel like I can't go to sleep without at least acknowledging that fact. I mean, Google did...

(Okay I confess: I just thought this was pretty!)

So.. women. The truth is I don't know what to say today. I've said some things before (here and here and here and here and here, etc...) and there is a lot more to say too, of course.

I think what I really want to say is just that I love women. And I am so grateful for the way I have been influenced and inspired and encouraged by women in my life. My mom and sister and grandmas; my friends; leaders and authors and activists and teachers and mothers and mentors. They are all amazing in their own unique ways, and I am a better person for the women who have touched my life.

But there are a lot of problems that face women. And it can be overwhelming and depressing to think about. It can be stressful and confusing. Yet, women are strong. Women are not just victims and minorities in power positions and the underdog struggling against all odds. Women are changing the odds and making their own odds. They are creating new stories and finding new ways of interacting in the world. I am inspired by women (and men too). Sometimes by those close to me--because I know them and what they struggle with and how they overcome and how they take the world and the life they were given and then rise to every occasion to be brave and bright and to make individual choices, even incredibly hard ones, that they know to be right. And sometimes I am inspired by women I will never know--ones who do impossible things and who ignore the rules that would suppress them and say beautiful words and make beautiful things and wondrously defy those who would negate their power or try to push them down or tell them who to be.

The world is changing. And it is a very good thing. Still, there are a lot of scary things facing us in the future. There is a lot of uncertainty. And there are countless problems to be grappled with and to overcome. For both women and men. We've come to a place where I think we are going to find we will fail if we don't stop putting up barriers and limiting people's potential because of their gender--or their race or background or even their apparent weaknesses. I am very ready for the day when we can stop talking about women's issues and women's rights. I am waiting for humankind to unite as we're meant to be united and for all of us to love and respect and support each other because we are all part of the same family; because we are all born into the same world and fighting the same problems; because each person deserves to be treated like a person, no matter what. But unfortunately we have a long ways to go.

The problems facing women are many. And they are linked to and exasperated by many other issues facing the world today. We can't change one thing without affecting the rest. That much is clear. So what do we do? What are the solutions? Where do women stand and what steps should we take? Well really, who knows?

But one thing is for sure: women have power. Even if it is only within themselves. Even if there are people and societies and pressures that try to suppress it. The power is there, and if you know women, you must have seen it. And this world will be a better place as each woman (and, yes, men too!) takes responsibility for her own power; harnesses it; directs it to those things that are important to her; looks beyond her immediate surroundings and does whatever she knows how to do, and maybe some things she doesn't know how to do, to influence some piece of this world for good.

It's that simple. And it's that hard.

It isn't easy to know where your power lies or how to use it or where your influence might best be felt and leveraged. But I think it is possible. And it is in this potential that I put my hope! Because power is already there within each of us, we just have to find--or better yet, create--the opportunities to make the most of it!

Happy International Women's Day. I believe in you!

(and I am trying to believe in me too)

Happy Birthday, Mr. President!

President Lincoln, that is.

I confess, I am not the world's greatest expert on the Presidents of the United States. But I have always felt particularly fond of Abraham Lincoln. I really enjoyed this statement by President Lincoln that I read today:

“As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.”

I like that idea of democracy. It is akin to the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated, basically. I think we could use a bit more of that kind of democracy today.

Overwhelmed? Make a list.

For the past week I haven't closed my internet browser because I have been saving articles and videos that I wanted to post about. But now that I have them all piled up, I also don't have the energy to post about them all separately, so this is a listed post of some interesting finds (or shared from others) this week:

• First, Joanna Brooks. An "unorthodox" Mormon woman who is standing up both for her religion as well as her desire to see change and openness within this religious culture. I really admire her and relate to much of that she has to say.
• It Only Takes a Girl. Beautiful and lovely (and reminiscent of the Girl Effect videos in some ways). It made me cry. Here it is:
• Really amazing letter from a former slave to his former master. Definitely worth reading!
• I really related to the author of this article. Like him, and many others, I strongly support Planned Parenthood, while also being Pro-Life (though the terms "pro-life" and pro-choice" are not my favorites, since I don't think those who support abortion are necessarily against life and that those who oppose abortion are also opposed to choice... but anyway...). And here is chart (plus article) talking about what Planned Parenthood really does and where their money goes.Targeting Planned Parenthood as a means of reducing abortion and unwanted pregnancy is completely misguided and ignorant! I personally do believe that unborn babies should be protected, but I also believe that women and expecting mothers, whatever their circumstances, must receive the best support and assistance possible. It is both women and children who suffer from this battle. And it makes me really sad!
• I also want to put in a general plug for the NYTimes FIXES blog that posts great ideas about development every week (since I have about 3 of their articles half read right now... I'm easily distracted...). Their goal is to find great ideas that are actually working well. Af there is almost always a follow-up article that addresses questions and comments about each "fix." Some of them are really interesting. You should check it out!
• Finally, I just read this article talking about the idea that we would live in a more peaceful world if women occupied more leadership positions. I think that is true, if only because it would be a sign of societal progress and decreased gender discrimination. Also, it is commonly acknowledged in the "international development world" that as women gain rights and standing in a community, the overall well-being and development generally improves as well. I see this as part of a healthy society. And women in leadership is part of how a community views and treats women. If the position of women in powerful roles is an indication of our societies as a whole we have a lot to worry about. And honestly, I think it is pretty important reflection of our societies. (The stats in this article are super interesting!)

Well, that's all for now. I'm tired and so is my computer.

Peace and love to one and all!! xo.

mother dearest

I come back to the same topics time and again. Not too long ago I wrote a post on the topic of expectations for women, and I touched upon the subject of mothering. Recently I read an article in which a woman, and a mother, expressed her feeling on the heated debate between women over how to mother. (I like the word mother as a verb...) She expressed the guilt she felt as a mother, and a woman, both when she made the decision to stay at home with her daughter as well as when she chose to work outside of the home.

I won't explicate all of my thoughts on the subject... especially because I have done that before. But as a daughter, a friend, a sister, a woman and, perhaps someday, a mother, I would like to share a few parts of this article that I found particularly powerful:

"My daughter is watching me AND you to learn what it means to be a woman. And I'd like her to learn that a woman's value is determined less by her career choices and more by how she treats other women, in particular, women who are different than she is. I'd like her to learn that her strength is defined by her honesty and her ability to exist in grey areas without succumbing to masking her insecurities with generalizations or accusations. And I'd like her to learn that the only way to be both graceful and powerful is to dance among the endless definitions of the word woman... and to refuse to organize women into categories, to view ideas in black and white, or to choose sides and come out swinging. Because being a woman is not that easy, and it's not that hard. . . .

". . .when you yell about how much peace you have with your decisions, it just doesn't ring true. The thing is, if you're yelling, I don't believe that you've got it all figured out. I don't even believe that YOU believe you've got it all figured out. I think your problem might be that you're as internally conflicted as the rest of us about your choices. But instead of kicking your own ass, you've decided it'd be easier to kick ours.

Which is tempting, but also wrong.

So, maybe instead of tearing each other up, we could each admit that we're a bit torn up about our choices, or lack thereof. And we could offer each other a shoulder or a hand. And then maybe our girls would see what it really means to be a woman."

I think as a society, and especially as women, we need to do a better job of loving and supporting each other. We know how much pressure there is on us. We know how hard some decisions are to make. Lets love and support each other. Lets make decisions not because of pressures and expectations, but in an effort to do our best in our personal circumstances. And lets respect the decisions other women make, whether or not they make the same decisions we do.

mlk jr.

Dear Dr. King,

You make me want to wake up.

Real is better than perfect.

Today I saw someone put this quote up, as if it is good advice:

"Pretend to be completely in control and people will assume that you are."

Steve Jobs

But I think it is terrible advice. I think this is exactly what is wrong with the world and all of us. I've made that mistake (many times) and I know it is nothing but pride and fear that makes us pretend.

I can't count the number of times when the smallness of humanity--our weakness, neediness, lack of understanding, ability, resources--has stunned and humbled me. Not because it is sad and terrifying, though at times it is that too, but because it is magnificent. Because it is incredible that, in all our silly, weak ways, we manage to make it through. We overcome and we survive.

It's a miracle. Life is a miracle. And when we pretend that we are "completely in control," that we have it all together, that we don't need each other and God and help every day and every moment, not only are we faking and lying and deceiving ourselves and each other, but we are diminishing the beauty of our successes. We belittle those pieces joy and love and perfection that pass through our lives to make them worth living, despite the fact that we don't have it together and we're not in control. None of us. We need help. We need each other. And I think there is nothing more beautiful in this world than recognizing our own littleness and loving it. Accepting help when we need it and offering to others what we have in abundance to give. We all lack something. But we all have gifts too. I think we've lost touch of that in the world--the fact that we need to exchange and share--that no one can have it all on his or her own, but that we benefit from others and that everyone has something important to give. The more we try to pretend that we're fine on our own, the more we lose out on sharing and receiving from one another. And that's a pity.

So I will tell you now, and always, I don't have it all figured out. I don't have everything completely under control. I don't understand so many things, so many more things than I do understand. I need help and love and blessings. And it is my greatest desire to offer some small benefit to another person; to lift, to aid, to touch, to bless another life. Because life is so much more beautiful when you're in it together with someone(s). For me, that's whole point.

Happy Christmas

Love, peace and joy to one and all. And another favorite...

I

John Lennon!

Advantage. And it's opposite.

A dear friend of mine recently started a graduate program in Social Work. She is learning so much and loving the way her awareness and way of seeing the world is changing the more she understands about social welfare and social justice. She is an incredible woman--brilliant, loving, hard working, insightful, patient, forgiving, tolerant, caring. I love her and I know that she will be an incredible social worker and help so many people!! And I was really excited when she shared this article about racism Because it sheds a lot of light on what goes on in the world and in America, especially the things we don't usually tend to notice. In this particular case it is "white privilege."

The article is written by a woman who studies women's issues. But during the course of investigating the ways in which men are privileged over women, she began to see the ways in which one race is also privileged over others. In "small" ways sometimes. But, when it comes down to it, in ways that make a difference in the way we interact, the opportunities we have,the way we feel about ourselves and the way we fit into society. The accumulation of these little, unnoticed privileges turns into a system of inequality and division.

The things she sites as white privilege really struck a chord with me-- little things like being able to easily find products for you skin or hair type; "flesh" toned band-aids that at least approximate the color of your skin (a black friend and I were joking about this very topic not long ago!); the knowledge that on any given day, if someone treats you poorly you can be confident that it is not because of the color of your skin; the ability to see people who look like you in the media, in positions of authority, or even among your friends and neighbors. The list goes on. And some things seem like a bigger deal than others. But the truth is, when you look at these details, and when you start adding up the ways these factors affect us on a daily basis, they are all part of a system that privileges, and not benignly, one race.

When I look at my experience and my own life, as a white American, I begin to recognize how distinct the differences are. I realize that out of all of my close friends, only two are black. And, in fact, I don't recall ever having a close black friend before starting college. In reality, I have only really gotten to know a handful of black Americans during my lifetime. Why? I don't completely know. Partly because they have been the minority in my communities, schools, and social circles. Because there are still dividing lines. Because we do not live in a country where all people have equal opportunities and where our skin color is irrelevant to where you live, what you do and who you interact with. And the truth is while it has been easy of me not to notice these divisions and the lack of diversity in my own life, it a loss for all of us.

So here is a bit more from the article:

"Disapproving of the systems won’t be enough to change them. I was taught to think that racism could end if white individuals changed their attitudes. (But) a “white” skin in the United States opens many doors for whites whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us. Individual acts can palliate, but cannot end, these problems. . .

"To redesign social systems we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions. The silences and denials surrounding privilege are the key political tool here. They keep the thinking about equality or equity incomplete, protecting unearned advantage and conferred dominance by making these taboo subjects. . .

"It seems to me that obliviousness about white advantage, like obliviousness about male advantage, is kept strongly inculturated in the United States so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all. Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power, and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already."

In all honesty, I don't know exactly what the solution is. I don't know how we break an "invisible" system of privilege, whether it is based on gender, race or other factors. But I think a start is recognizing it. And confessing to ourselves that we are part of it-- that we are a part of a culture ingrained with prejudices, as is every culture I've ever encountered. And once we recognize these advantages and disadvantages, we need to speak up. I am reminded of a quote a recently read in an essay by a wonderful friend of mine. She sited Elie Wiesel, who said, “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

I love that! I want to be able to say that. I hope we can all take that to heart and live our lives with that conviction. We cannot be silent. We cannot be neutral. And we cannot ignore the injustices in our midst, even if at times they seems small or unimportant. It is our responsibility to recognize them and then to stand up against them, however we can.

I end with the insightful words of one of my best friends. She is hilarious, gorgeous, loving, innocent, yet unbelievably perceptive and wise. She is also a black woman. These are her thoughts on this article:

I wonder what can be done be bring people to look within themselves, both black and white and human in general, to question their (my) preconcieved notions about the world and the people they interact with? I believe that I as an person born in the U.S., even as an African American female, have many hidden privleges that others do not. Not only do I think think there are privleges with being White, but I think there are hidden (and obvious) privleges with being able to speak English in the U.S., or being "educated", or having health insurance for instance. How do we bridge the gap? How do we address the issue of communities not feeling that they can be in a position of authority, even though there has not been anyone that looks like them doing it? How we change the way people think? There are so many comforts that people would not want to give up. It just makes me want to re-assess how I view others and work to be more concious of the biases I carry and work to change them, because I definiely have them.

GOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!

Well, more like, BASKET!

Incredibly, I played basketball on Wednesday night. I don't even know how many years it has been since I played b-ball... probably at least 5. But a friend called me to see if I wanted to play, and honestly, I would have done anything! I mean, my social life here in Spain isn't exactly keeping me overly busy right now. So, even knowing that basketball is always a very humbling experience for me, I readily agreed.

So, it was joyously unexpected when I WON!!!

Yes, folks, you read that correctly. I won... while playing basketball. And I didn't even cheat. Nor, in fact, was I very good. What happened was, we played "21" and I got 21 first! How could that be, you ask?? Well, both of my opponents missed 21 (and thus had to score 31, then 41 and even 51 points in order to win because you can only win with EXACTLY 21 points). So, with less than half as many points as the other players, I won. And you know what, I'm perfectly happy with that.

In sum: I won. And you should feel free to congratulate me :)

Who can mind her own business?

I am so grateful for my friend Chelsea who shared the NYTimes article Seven Billion on her blog. And, because it is amazing and I just can't help myself, I am going to write about a few thoughts I have too.

The article (and some awesome videos from National Geographic which I will put at the end of the post) talks about what it means to live in a world with 7 billion+ people. It asks if the earth can support our ever growing numbers; it asks what will happen as our populations shift--as a whole we are become older, more urban and our population centers are shifting from the "west" to China, India and Africa; and as our lifestyles change and more and more people in the world are living like those of us in the United States and Europe (i.e. using more resources on a daily basis than many people in the world use over years or, in some cases, lifetimes). Obviously, we don't know exactly what will happen in the next 10, 20, 50 years. We don't know how things will change, but we know change will happen. And as I see it, in large measure the future is in our hands. It is up to us what tomorrow will look like. We have choices to make that will determine the future of this planet and the people who live here. And many of those choices have to do with our daily lives.

The article concludes with these paragraphs on our future and our priorities:

Is economic development the best contraception? Or is voluntary contraception the best form of development? Does the world need a bigger pie (more productive technologies) or fewer forks (slower population growth through voluntary contraception) or better manners (fewer inequities, less violence and corruption, freer trade and mobility, more rule of law, less material-intensive consumption)? Or is education of better quality and greater availability a key ingredient of all other strategies?

All these approaches have value. However much we would like one, there is no panacea, though some priorities are clear: voluntary contraception and support services, universal primary and secondary education, and food for pregnant and lactating mothers and children under 5.

These priorities are mutually reinforcing, and they are affordable. Providing modern family planning methods to all people with unmet needs would cost about $6.7 billion a year, slightly less than the $6.9 billion Americans are expected to spend for Halloween this year. By one estimate, achieving universal primary and secondary education by 2015 would cost anywhere from $35 billion to $70 billion in additional spending per year.

IF we spend our wealth — our material, environmental, human and financial capital — faster than we increase it by savings and investment, we will shift the costs of the prosperity that some enjoy today onto future generations. The mismatch between the short-term incentives that guide our political and economic institutions and even our families, on one hand, and our long-term aspirations, on the other, is severe.

We must increase the probability that every child born will be wanted and well cared for and have decent prospects for a good life. We must conserve more, and more wisely use, the energy, water, land, materials and biological diversity with which we are blessed.

Henceforth we need to measure our growth in prosperity: not by the sheer number of people who inhabit the earth, and not by flawed measurements like G.D.P., but by how well we satisfy basic human needs; by how well we foster dignity, creativity, community and cooperation; by how well we care for our biological and physical environment, our only home.

With all of that said, here is what I think:

First of all, I think it is a blessing to live in a world where our lives are inescapably connected--if we recognize that fact. Because, among my beliefs about human beings are these two things:

1) people are basically good and everyone is capable of doing something that will benefit the world; and...

2) we are innately self-centered and naturally less aware of those around us than we are of ourselves (and perhaps our family member or those who we are very close to).

So, even though we have the potential to help others and do great things in the world, often we don't even recognize the problems of others, or if we do we don't see a connection between these issues our own lives and the ways in which we can influence those problems. However, the growing awareness that we live in a global community where the welfare of people across the world will have an impact on the way I live and vice versa can be, I believe, a powerful motivation for all of us to look beyond ourselves and our immediate situation to see how we fit into the bigger picture; what we can each contribute. This knowledge that in a world of 7 billion people and counting, we cannot live with affecting and being affected by the rest of those 7 billion helps us step outside of our natural "personal bubble," which in turn, will allow us to use the goodness we inherently have to influence the world in spectacular ways. If we so choose.

And that isn't just speculation. There are people all over the world who have opened their eyes to the problems around them and have done astonishing things, often with few resources and little expertise. Their main qualitification: love. A qualification available to each and every one of of us. There is nothing more powerful or more sacred than love. Pure love.

Charity

"The highest, noblest, strongest king of love"

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, pray unto the Father with all energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

Moroni 7:45-48 & 1 Corinthians 13:3-8

As a member of the human family, a creature on this earth and a recipient of uncountable blessings, charity is my ultimate and immediate goal. It is my belief that, whatever else we do here on earth, the main purpose of our time here is to learn what it means to truly love others-- to be like, and love like, Christ, whose life and atonement is, for me, the ultimate demonstration of charity.

And charity comes in more forms that we recognize, and can come from anywhere and anyone. When we talk about our place in a world of 7 billion people, charity means knowing that every time I am wasteful with my resources I am harming someone else. It means mindfulness. It means acting consciously and carefully. It means thinking not only about the immediate consequences of my actions, but also the long-term results. It means remembering those 7 billion people and seeing them as equally important, dignified and deserving as myself. And as such, recognizing that quality of human lives is what I am weighing against convenience, economics and effort. Every day. In every choice.

None of us are perfect. Especially me. And I know that I am constantly making wrong choices. I forget about or ignore the fact that what I do matters very much. How I use my resources, talents and time can be a matter of life or death for another human being or another creature on this planet. And the truth is, I can and must do better. As a human community we have much room for improvement.

Yet, what a hopeful thing it is to know that there are 7 billion of us here on this earth--I cannot even begin to comprehend our collective potential. But that is what we must do: recognize and take advantage of our connectedness. Only by working together, pooling our resources and finding solutions that are good for everyone can we create a better world; one which can adequately support all of us in a manner worthy of a human life.